On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
