You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
