I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
