5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i came on her dog
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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