gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
