Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I hate all girls vehemently.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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