mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
