sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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