Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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