so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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