I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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