this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
