I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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