Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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