The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
