Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
