Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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