Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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