He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
