I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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