I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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