i permit you to call me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
