Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
