Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
