apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Randomize
