$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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