If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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