We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
