what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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