Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
