I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she told me i tasted like america
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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