Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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