My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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