i would punch a child for taco bell
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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