My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
