If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
