Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
