I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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