i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
