i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it was like eating out sand paper
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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