I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
