I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
