Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
