We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize