The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize