On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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