Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
