tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
