So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
