all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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