I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
