so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
