i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think your dad took our porno
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
