something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I could fuck to npr.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
