i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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