Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
