By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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