I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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