She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
