Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
